No, life here has been consumed by chemo. I'm one week in. Only 11 more weeks to go!
The last few days have been hard. The side effects I anticipated have mostly been mild. Some queasiness, some fatigue, achiness from the vitamin shot. Add to that interrupted sleep, an itchy scalp and a persistent bad taste in mouth, ruining everything I try to eat or drink. I just don't feel like myself. I know it's unreasonable to expect to feel "good" during chemo, but I hadn't considered how several days of feeling off physically would impact me emotionally. I feel anxious not knowing what's coming next. Will I feel better in the two weeks before my next infusion? Will the next cycle be worse? I'm angry that I had a tiny, stage 1 cancer and I'm subjecting my body to this torture. I've complained endlessly about my "chemo mouth," when I am generally not a complainer. I've snapped at friends who were just trying to help or just being nice, because I just want to be normal.
But there is good news. I am enjoying a cup of coffee today for the first time in a week. And I'm thus determined to have a great day. To focus on the big picture instead of the discomforts of the next 77 days.
It's another snow day here in the nation's capital. I'd love to get the boys outside to enjoy the snow. We don't spend enough time in nature. It's criminal. I'd also love to get out some paint. It's grandma's birthday; maybe some card making? And there is sewing to do. I've got three baby quilts to make in April. Yikes.
Happy Friday!
